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最美大課間比賽作文

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最美大課間比賽作文

In the morning 7:40 when, the playground uploads come to a musical sound ah, it is we should film between the most beautiful a lecture given to a large number of students, I immediately happy rise.

早上7:40時,操場上傳來一陣陣音樂聲啊,是我們要拍攝最美大課間了,我立刻開心了起來。

Above all head on and the children that those who come is 2 grade, they are taking orderly step, the pants that wearing shining white clothes and big red is taking each to be wrapped dene in the hand. Ground of their one after another follows, also did not stay momently. What go head on now is the little little sisters of little little brother of 3 grade, they are wearing white glove, still taking on the hand, skip of a root, time gradually prediction of a person's luck in a given year.

首先迎面而來的是二年級的小朋友們,他們走着整齊的步伐,穿着白花花的衣裳和大紅色的褲子手裏拿着一個個沙包。他們一個接一個地跟着,一刻也沒有停留。現在迎面走來的是三年級的小弟弟小妹妹們了,他們戴着白色的手套,手上還拿着,一根根跳繩,時間漸漸流失。

Abrupt compere calls us 41, we are incompact not slow went. Classmates skip repeatedly belt jump we are taking key child went up track. Classmates slowly running, also did not stay momently, do when holding, we are calling just a little of orderly buccal good number 34, 2234 ” . Lasted to make drill time so. Hold finished we take shuttlecock at once. Surrounded greatly circle. The schoolboy surrounded schoolgirl of a circle to surround a circle. We with respect to kick up shuttlecock. We were kicked probably 5 minutes returned original formation, I am noting the movement of summerly teacher, the teacher mentioned when a thumb returns a classroom, the teacher said your dishy! The noise in the classroom removed an applause.

突然主持人叫到我們四一班,我們不緊不慢的走了下去。同學們連蹦帶跳的我們拿着鍵子上了跑道。同學們慢慢的跑着,一刻也沒有停留,做操時我們喊着整齊的口好號一二三四,二二三四”。就這樣持續了做操的時間。操做完了我們連忙把毽子拿起來。圍成了一個大大的圓圈。男生圍一個圈女生圍了一個圈兒。我們就踢起了毽子。我們踢了大概五分鐘就回到了原來的隊形,我注意着夏老師的動作,老師提起了一個大拇指回到教室的時候,老師說了一句你們真棒!教室裏響起了一陣陣掌聲。

The adviser comments on:

導師點評:

The article around class collective activity, this content between the most beautiful a lecture given to a large number of students undertakes transcribe narrate. Sheet of begin Duan Jian is clear, choose bright target directly, said the subject of the story. Said the main state of the spot when transcribe then, used picture of a lot of details to give a person the picture sense with special vivid figure. Whole article brought a lot of interesting instants to us, wonderful stimulate again. Described the main condition that our class enters the court finally. Very pretty good. Whole article content is true and interesting, the stage of arrangement is very sound also. Insufficient place is can not undertake narrative orderly according to a sound logic. Begin is terminal paragraph did not form coordinate. Last paragraphs also did not make clear point out theme.

本文圍繞班級集體活動,錄製最美大課間這個內容進行敘述。開頭段簡單明瞭,直接點明對象,說了故事的主題。接着說了錄製時現場的主要狀況,用了很多細節描寫給人非常形象生動的畫面感。整篇文章給我們帶來了很多有趣的瞬間,精彩又刺激。最後描述了我們班上場的主要情形。非常不錯。整篇文章內容真實有趣,安排的段落也很合理。不足的地方是沒有能夠按照一個合理的邏輯順序進行敘述。開頭結尾段沒有形成照應。最後一段也沒有明確點明主題。